they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
