so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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