just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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