i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
