You're so nebulous sometimes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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