The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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