Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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