Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
