I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
