This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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