Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
