$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
