I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
