he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
