I want to make a zoo with you.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize