a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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