He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
