She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize