For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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