dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
