I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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