I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
