while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
