grandma shit on top of the toilet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
