This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
