so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
