I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
