Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
