I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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