you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
