Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
