I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
