how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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