some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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