Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
