She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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