I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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