I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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