Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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