I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize