my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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