i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
