Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I love you. Go after that dick
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