Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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