Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cut my penus on the lid.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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