There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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