I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
