Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
