Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
