You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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