I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
