Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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