Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
