had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
