Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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