dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Come see our sink grown plant.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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