How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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