did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
