Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
