I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
